In the beginning...

Big breath...big DEEP breath...that feels sooooooo good! Okay, now we may begin (I've become very partial to breathing lately, but that is the subject for a future-lots-of-fun blog.)

I have been wanting and meaning to begin my blog-journey for some time now, but always found reasons (excuses) not to. Thankfully, a friend that is becoming dearer with each encounter has both inspired and encouraged me to dive right in - NOW. So Pinky, here I am! (if you don't like it, you can't complain now...cuz it's all your doing! I know, big talk coming from me - especially since I know you're tough and I would SO lose any potential wrestling match - but it'd be fun!)

One of my biggest recent excuses not to get started was because of all of the "drama" in the world, and more specifically, our community. I don't want to cause any more and definitely don't want to spread anything toxic myself. So my dear, wise friend suggested that I focus on the present and the future. The things that happen in my life and things that I am learning and experiencing - GREAT freakin' idea! I also mentioned my misgivings to my wonder-guy and he put it to me this way: if someone reads my blog purposefully looking for trouble and taking things personally, they will find what they are looking for - no matter if I only write about what I ate that day! So, if it bothers you that I ate tunafish today, and you take that personally, I can't help that! Stop reading now, turn around and go save the dolphins or whatever.

But I digress (if you follow these, you'll probably find that I do that often.) What I want to do in this blog is outline the plan - I'm going to share my thoughts and life with you, basically from the beginning of this year forward. I know that we are all products of our lives and all of the experiences encompassed within, but I am trying to keep my eyes and mind on the road in front of me and off the rearview mirror, and this blog, I hope, will evidence that goal. Now, as with any trip, I will readily admit that I DO have baggage in the trunk, which I believe will become lighter and lighter the further along this road I go.

Although I expressed the "future outlook" desire to Pinky, I do have one matter of business to address first. There is an event/person in my past that will ALWAYS influence whom I am every day of my life, and may be referred to from time to time, even though not currently in my life. This person is/was my mother. My life right now is going through some huge changes - for the better, thankfully - and I have to mind-vomit at the beginning of this blog in order for you to understand much of the decisions and choices I will be making. I have chosen this year to heal. This is long overdue and has everything to do with the love shared between my mother and me (and I'll tell you the details in the next blog) I yearn to be the best version of myself possible - as true to the essential ME-ness of me as I can be without losing what makes me uniquely special and yet shaving off the unneccesary scar tissue from improperly healed emotional wounds. So I am very excited at my progress already and anticipate great returns on my efforts - both for me and, more importantly I believe, for the rest of the world.

Please forgive the solemnity - I promise the majority of my posts will not be so somber - but, as most know, being human makes us each such an interesting amalgamation, and this is my "other" side.